Six Steps to Letting the Best of You Emerge

When we think of our many obligations and duties, some of us may reach the revelation that we are not putting our best assets and abilities to the tasks in our daily lives. Take a moment now, and visualize what you want your life to be. As you reflect on your goals and your vision, ask yourself: what do I need to change in order to allow the best parts of me emerge?

What Needs Changing?

As you consider potential changes in your life and lifestyle, take an honest look at your choices, and consider what elements need to be removed or fixed. For this exercise, make a list of ideas and elements that you’d like to change about yourself or your life. Do not write down things that are beyond your control; moreover, focus only on the ideas that you feel you can take charge of and shift or alter in some way.

While reflecting on these ideas, you may find it calming and clarifying to resonate on the concepts and words of the well-known “Serenity Prayer,” which states: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

As we list our own attributes and elements that are disappointing or below their potential, begin to think about what elements on your list are due to negative habits, thoughtless routines, or unquestioned patterns. Humans, by nature, are creatures of habit; it is often quite easy to fall into a thoughtless trap of daily routine. In doing this, we commonly forget to stop and reflect on why we are engaging in certain tasks or behaving in certain ways. By creating your list, you are opening new doors for reflective evaluation and potential change. By listing all of the elements that you can change, you are teaching yourself about control; you are in control of your life, and you have the power to break any routines, habits, and choices that do not provide you with satisfaction and fulfillment!

Steps for Success

After creating your list, I want you to move through the following steps in order to effectively break your negative habits and disappointing patterns. Below are just a few brief highlights from some of the steps towards making positive changes in your life.

Step One—Possess a Desire to Change

Before any serious change takes place, you must first internally become serious about your motivation and desire to stimulate change in your life. Recognize your negative choices and habits, and then decide if you are willing to actively engage in new behaviors in order to positively shift your life.

Step Two—Recognize Your Triggers

Once you establish your desire to change, begin to take notice of the elements that trigger your negative habits and choices. Ask yourself evaluative questions such as:

• Am I alone when I engage in this habit?
• Do any of my friends encourage me to engage in this habit?
• How often do I engage in this habit?

As you ask yourself these questions, be sure to focus on your own responsibility in your choices; do not force the blame onto anyone else. The purpose of this step is to evaluate specific ways in which you can recognize patterns in order to implement change. If you feel your habits are influenced by others, set up a meeting with this individual or group of individuals. Ask for support, and explain your desire to shift your life and choices. Use messages that begin with “I” to avoid blaming others or coming across as combative.

Step Three—Replace Your Bad Habits with Good Habits

One of the greatest ways to improve your life is by replacing negative habits and elements with positive choices. Instead of engaging in your former negative habits, go for a walk, meet with a friend, spend time reading, enjoy some time outdoors, or engage in any activity that makes you happy. Find opportunities to engage your attention in positive areas to avoid falling into previously repetitious negative patterns.

Step Four—Stop Immediately

In order to effectively break negative cycles of behavior, the most effective technique is to simply stop the negative behaviors immediately. Instead of gradually introducing new patterns, change your habits right now!

Step Five—No Excuses

Finally, as you begin to move your life towards positive and constructive changes, do not make excuses for pitfalls or poor choices. As human beings, our daily habits encourage us to avoid change. This is an element of our nature that can be overcome, as we can consciously make choices that are more positive for our lives.

Step Six—Be Positive

While changes can be difficult, focus on the positive and maintain enthusiasm. Do not fall to the temptations of discouragement, as this may pull you back towards negative behaviors. Become aware of the power you have in your life, and begin to take charge with a clear focus on your desired success.